Musings...

Winding Road- Bonnie Somerville

Well, the rain keeps on coming down
It feels like a flood in my head
And that road keeps on calling me
Screaming to everything lying ahead

And it's a winding road
I've been walking for a long time
I still don't know
Where it goes
And it's a long way home
I've been searching for a long time
I still have hope
I'm gonna find my way home

And I can see a little house
On top of the hill
And I can smell the ocean
The salt in the air
And I can see you
You're standing there
And you're washing your car
And I can see California sun in your hair

And its a winding road
I've been walking for a long time
Still don't know
Where it goes
And it's a long way home
I've been searching for a long time
Still have hope
I'm gonna find my way home

All these dreams took me so far
And I felt I just couldn't go on
And I want to hang
Out the window of your car
And see just how good this baby can run

'Cause it's a winding road
I've been walking for a long time
And I still don't know
Where it goes
And it's a long way home
I've been searching for a long time
Still have hope
We're gonna find our way home

It's a winding road
Still have hope
One day we'll find our way home
It's a long way home
I've been searching for a long time
Still have hope
We're gonna find our way home

It's a long way home
It's a long way home

Well, it’s been a while since I have written anything of note here, so I guess it’s time to shake off the cobwebs and bring out the rusty nib and scratch away on dried out parchment. And maybe knock off some of the rust that’s there in my head as well. Having written about music festivals, appearances, thoughts, teachings, religion (a major fiasco that was) fireworks and some others (all in my previous blog which has been deleted), it will be a pleasant change to write about myself directly. I use the terms pleasant and myself very loosely: those who know me know that I detest opening personal closets for the world to see, but I guess updates are required to leave a signpost to look back on in the future. Provided I don’t delete this blog as well, that is.

Not much has happened over the last few months. Liverpool lost the final of the Champions League, sadly, India has a first woman president, the first female of Indian origin landed safely back on earth, and I’ve graduated, and successfully managed to stay unemployed, a situation I hope to redress in the coming weeks. Until then, I’m left with my own demons to battle, and I plod along stodgily, albeit with a great amount of help. To that person, I have two very inadequate words: Thank you. I hope I never have to reciprocate the favor to you, but if the situation does arise, well… don’t think twice about it J.

The weather has brought about many changes, none so much more than the fact that it has trapped me indoors. I hate that, and coupled with a massive head cold, it has not been a very nice last couple of days. I’ve learnt a lot about what I want over the last few weeks, and how much I have to work towards getting it. Many hard decisions will have to be taken, and the concept of deferred gratification (those who took sociology with me in school would know what I’m talking about) must soon end. I never truly understood what Macbeth (or rather, Shakespeare) meant when he said “Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow. Creeps in this petty pace from day-to-day and all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death” until now, and having grasped the meaning of it, I shall not wait for my Birnam Wood to come to me. Not that I have before, but I was more content to take a “big picture” view of life. Unless you’re in business, it’s a very dangerous attitude to take: life gets so far ahead of you that the dream becomes idealistic. Yet more musings propagated under the influence of meds and hot drinks.

Oh man, this is harder than I thought it would be. The rust doesn’t seem to be clearing, and I’m running out of ideas. Must be a whole lot of introspection going on, most of which I won’t share and bore you. I’ve read on how holes are the most important inventions (not body orifices, the ones you bore/dig), how luck evens out for some people, but the next point is perhaps more important. One of my friends (let’s call him Bastard… so that he knows who he is, and the rest of you shall find him amusing. If Terry Pratchett can do it in a publication, so can I) raised a rather interesting point in his private entry (which was to be the first of many, but sadly remained at that point) of the know-it-all person who really doesn’t know it all. Bastard claims that just because you’ve successfully achieved something it doesn’t mean that you know how you did it. Bastard feels that it doesn’t give you the knowledge or wisdom of repeating the success again. Meaning, there are several factors that go into success, not just individual brilliance. Now this is a rather insightful point that Bastard has brought up, and one that I agree with on some levels, and on some I disagree. Luck does play a part: just look at your workplace. At least one of the bosses there has absolutely NO idea what he/she is doing, and just commands people around because they got there by plain fluke. Conversely, you might have some wise ass who knows it all, is a prick and knows that he/she is one, and doesn’t give a shit.

Bastard doesn’t believe that just by achieving something, you’re considered an expert: well Bastard, that’s where you might just be wrong. Usually, the pioneers are not the ones who teach, but are the ones who write the books on success that no one else can replicate. The ones who write the textbooks are the ones who have achieved the level of expert after the pioneers and can prescribe that the average Joe (and Bastard) can replicate successfully.

(At this point you must be wondering why I refer to Bastard as Bastard and not him/he… well… that’s because he is one… I mean, come on… if he was an angel, I wouldn’t call him Bastard now, would I? It has an almost cathartic feel to it, mmm… yes… Bastard… you’re a bastard… see I feel better already… feel happy that you made some difference to someone’s life)

And so, with that excellent summary of what Bastard (the serotonin levels are increasing) has said, and my response to it, I take your leave. I don’t know when I’ll write next, but maybe when I’m suitably bored, I shall enthrall you with words of wisdom. Till then… be good…